The Must-Know Guide to Corporate Jargon
How to speak like a business bro in five steps.
Every tribe has its language. Special phrases or gestures that indicate you can be trusted.
Modern corporate speak has taken tribalism to a new level. Not only do you need to know the business terms, you also need to deliver them in the right way.
Wall Street business bros have a different intonation than their Western tech counterparts. Those laid-back California vibes are filled with not-so-subtle indications that it’s all about the IPO.
Midwestern manufacturers deliver messages with the extra help of nice, surprising, unassuming business partners when they go in for the takeover. Southerners, bless their hearts, can make any business acronym a back-handed compliment.
Don’t ever mess with Texans. They wield their spreadsheets with signature cowboy style.
Corporate jargon takes on a new flavor with a French accent or German directness.
Lesson 1: We’re an army, not a business.
Corporate jargon is a collection of specialized words, phrases, and slang often used in professional environments. It’s shorthand terms for specific concepts.
More importantly, corporate jargon signifies a shared understanding. It’s the old adage of ‘us’ vs. ‘them.’
The management consulting boom of the 20th century gave us terms like “value-added” and “streamlining.” Efficiency language evolved from military terms. Corporate workers were no longer just accountants or administrators — they were now ‘the army on the front lines.’
By the 1980s and 1990s, the tech boom introduced phrases like "bandwidth" and "scalable solutions.” We’ve now made 'Google’ a verb, ‘Zoom’ a meeting place, and can’t stop ‘slacking’ each other at all hours.
Speaking in code is essential to showing that you are ‘in the know.’ You are a team player and can be trusted.
Lesson 2: Make it Sound Fancy
Can you make something simple sound fancy? Great. You too can speak corporate.
If you’ve ever sat in a meeting and thought, “What does that even mean?” you’re not alone. Just nod your head with the rest of the room.
How to make business sound fancy:
Ambiguity: Be intentionally vague. Words like “synergy” or “alignment” can mean slightly different things depending on context. This flexibility makes them broad enough to sound applicable in almost any situation but leaves their exact meaning open to interpretation.
Overcomplicate Simple Ideas: Jargon takes straightforward concepts and overcomplicates them. Instead of saying, “Let’s meet later to discuss,” you might want to try: “We’ll circle back for a deeper dive.”
Complexity for the Sake of Professionalism: Adding complexity can make a speaker seem credible or authoritative. You want to be the boss of the room. Switch out normal words with aspirational ones, like “ideation” (instead of brainstorming) or “low-hanging fruit” (instead of easy wins). Nothing is ‘easy’ in business. If it was, then they wouldn’t need your expertise.
Industry-Specific Terms: Every field has terminology that might sound like jargon to outsiders. For instance, in tech, phrases like “MVP” (minimum viable product) or “onboarding” are commonly used but might confuse someone unfamiliar with the industry. Just as ‘release’ means software updates in tech, being let out of jail in law enforcement, or getting a divorce in family law.
Lesson 3: Your Core Corporate Jargon
Move over, freemasons; corporate jargon has its own secret code. If you are just entering corporate territory, you must — I repeat must - start using these terms:
Synergy: This is a fancy way of saying “collaboration” or “working together.” It’s meant to emphasize the idea that a team can achieve more when combining efforts than individuals working alone.
Bandwidth: No, we’re not talking about your internet connection. In the workplace, “bandwidth” refers to someone’s availability or capacity to do more work. For example: “I don’t have the bandwidth for that project right now.”
Backburner: This means ‘not right now’ or ‘this is a stupid idea, and we aren’t going to discuss it.”
Action Items: Do this thing right now, or else.
Deck: Powerpoint slides — not to be confused with building an outside structure on your home.
Agile: Either flexible or a type of project management style popularized in the early-mid 2000s.
We’ve got hundreds more. But, master the basics, and you’ll be heading to the C-Suite soon.
Lesson 4: Everything Needs an Acronym or Abbreviation
Corporate life is filled with acronyms that might leave you scratching your head. But once you get the hang of them, they make communication faster and more efficient.
And, if you want to impress people, start making up your acronyms. People will be too impressed to question you. Must-know acronyms (MKA):
KPI (Key Performance Indicators): These are specific metrics used to measure how well a person, team, or company achieves its goals. For instance, sales KPIs might include revenue growth or customer retention rates.
ROI (Return on Investment): This measures the profitability of an investment. Your ROI is high if you spend $1,000 on a marketing campaign and earn $5,000 in sales.
OKR (Objectives and Key Results): A framework for setting and tracking goals. The “objective” is what you want to achieve, and the “key results” are measurable outcomes that show progress.
QBR (Quarterly Business Review): A strategy meeting is held every quarter to review performance and align on goals for the upcoming period.
MVP (Minimum Viable Product): A term primarily used in product development, referring to the simplest version of a product that can still solve a problem or meet a customer’s needs.
Understanding these abbreviations isn’t just about keeping up with conversations but decoding your colleagues' focus.
Lesson 5: Get Creative with Metaphors and Idioms
Metaphors and idioms give corporate jargon a bit of personality. Impress your business contacts with your creativity. Here are some to start:
Moving the Needle: This phrase is about making a noticeable difference. For example, if a project increases revenue by 1%, someone might say it didn’t “move the needle.”
Paradigm Shift: Often used in big-picture conversations, this describes a fundamental change in thinking or approach. For instance, transitioning from in-office work to fully remote could be seen as a paradigm shift in workplace culture.
Boil the Ocean: This phrase refers to trying to do too much at once or tackling something overly ambitious. For example, the team might focus on smaller, more manageable problems instead of solving multiple large issues.
Run it Up the Flagpole: A quirky way of saying, “Let’s check with others to see if they agree.” Imagine a new idea being presented to higher-ups for approval.
Drinking from a Firehose: This describes feeling overwhelmed by too much information or too many tasks happening simultaneously—like trying to take a sip of water from a firehose blasting full force.
Ducks in a Row: Getting organized before presenting.
Go ahead and make up some idioms and metaphors - the crazier, the better.
Conclusion: Hop on the bandwagon
Understanding corporate jargon might feel like learning a new language, but it’s worth the effort. These commonly used terms, acronyms, and metaphors appear in daily conversations. And, if you don’t know them, you won’t be trusted.
So, make hay where the sun shines, but watch out for moving goalposts. You are five steps closer to speaking business like a bro.
